April 2009
16 posts
an open letter to UPS
FUCK YOU.
Rowbike →
OH MY JEEZ.
gaaaah
ZAC EFRON. Me gusta. Mucho.
Before my mom left the room she says to me, “You’ll never marry.”
PS: I’m obviously on my period right now.
i did it
I finally quit my job today.
Literally moments after I did it, Dov called a meeting in his office with the merchandisers, and tried to fire me for the umpteenth time. He didn’t and probably still doesn’t know I quit.
And it isn’t like I am quite moving onto bigger and better things either. I will be unemployed in 2 weeks depending on the gods at Netflix.
In the true spirit of...
FRIDAY
I am about to do something amazing on Friday.
buff
I biked 3 miles today, which I guess isn’t all that much on a bike. But I did it yesterday too!
I’m going to look up what all of this dumb biking is going to do to my body. I want to lose belly fat, but I don’t want HULK-sized legs either. HMMMM…
height
It’s such a humbling experience picking out a bike, especially when you’re under the impression that your legs are longer than they actually are. I could NOT fit any of them properly because my legs were not long enough to reach the ground 80% of the time. I was so exasperated with the whole process that I was about to decide on this yellow 24” boys mountain bike with FLAME decal...
“Look! They bald-headed that woman!”
– Sandy while watching a very sexy episode of House
crazy idea?
Maybe it’s late and I’m tired and delirious, but I am thinking of working off location for 3 weeks in about a month or two—and then coming back with extensions or a really amazing weave that goes down to my pits. I’ll tell everyone I grew it out naturally.
Is that toooo crazy?
hair
Since my hair is naturally wavy, it gives the impression that it is shorter than it seems. I pulled out the straightening iron this morning and gave myself an additional half inch! Amazing!!! Actually it is probably more than that, because the difference is astounding. To be honest I think I look much better with straight hair than my natural wavy locks. I just appear to be more lively, which may...
i got you
It’s nice to know some people got your back, especially when people you imagine would support you don’t.
I’m tired and stressed. What’s new?
procedures and shit
I am really awful at explaining stuff to people in person.
BUT I am really awesome at writing guides. I think I’ve been asked to write a billion procedural guides since I’ve started working for the company and it’s probably one of my favorite things to do. There’s something about screen captures and trying to pinpoint the exact word to describe a certain step that I find...
LOLz
Jack Bauer is in heat.
It’s SUPER hilarious.
I’ve never had a female pet before, aside from Abby and Mofo, but those bitches were rodents and they didn’t act up when they were horny.
She’s been rolling around on the floor and meowing and making ALL of us uncomfortable. Gob keeps giving me looks, like, “WTF IS HAPPENING?!”
WHEN CAN I SPAY HER WITHOUT IT...
back to normal
I didn’t feel like crying at all today, which signals the return of balanced hormones. Sweet.
In other news, I worked from 1pm till…umm, right now which is almost 4am. I really haven’t gotten up once to do anything other than use the restroom. My mom brought all of my meals to me. Isn’t that sweet? What an enabler.
But yep, the reason why I am working such crazy hours on...
